Katelyn Arterburn


Stepping into motherhood is an awe-inspiring journey that encompasses a profound sense of love and fulfillment. However, it also includes the daunting responsibility of caring for a new life, which often leads to mental overload and a burden of invisible work. In this post, we'll delve into the complexities of these often overlooked aspects of early motherhood.

### The Mental Overload of Motherhood

The mental load of motherhood involves constant decision-making and problem-solving. From managing your child's sleep schedule to monitoring their developmental milestones, every day brings a new set of challenges. It's like a never-ending to-do list that persists, even when you close your eyes at night.

In addition to this, there's the emotional load. As mothers, we often carry the emotions of our family members, absorbing their distress and working tirelessly to restore harmony. Managing your child's emotions while also processing your own feelings can be mentally taxing.

### The Invisible Work of Motherhood

Then there's the invisible work - the tasks that often go unnoticed or undervalued. This includes not just the physical labor of feeding, bathing, and soothing your child, but also the emotional labor of providing constant comfort and reassurance.

These responsibilities may also extend to maintaining the household, arranging appointments, and keeping track of necessities like groceries and diapers. The efforts behind these tasks often go unnoticed but play a significant role in the functioning of your home and family.

### Navigating the Overload and Invisible Work

Given the mental overload and invisible work that comes with early motherhood, it's crucial to remember self-care and seek support. Here are some suggestions:

- **Delegate Tasks:** It's okay to ask for help. Share your load with your partner, a family member, or a trusted friend. You're not alone in this journey.
- **Practice Self-Care:** Make sure to carve out time for yourself. Whether it's a quiet cup of coffee in the morning or a short walk in the evening, these moments can help recharge your mind and body.
- **Seek Professional Support:** A therapist can provide a safe space to express your feelings, address concerns, and learn coping strategies.

### Affirmation and Validation

It's essential to remember that your efforts, both visible and invisible, are significant. Your work shapes your child's world, and the love and care you provide are invaluable.

As you navigate through the mental overload and invisible work of early motherhood, remember: ✨You are worthy, deserving of love, and capable of growth. 🌱💗

Save and share this post with a fellow mom who might need this reminder. Follow [@IntegrationsCounseling](https://www.instagram.com/integrationscounseling) for more insights and support. 💗

If you're feeling overwhelmed and could use some guidance, don't hesitate to [connect with me](https://www.integrationscounseling.com/contact) today.


In this post, we'll delve into the complexities of these often overlooked aspects of early motherhood.

The Mental Overload and Invisible Work of Early Motherhood


The term "self-care" has become a popular buzzword. Aromatherapy baths, face masks, and yoga classes are all great ways to relax and replenish. But what if you find that these conventional methods of self-care just aren't cutting it for you? It's crucial to understand that self-care is more than a quick fix, and there are deeper forms of care you can explore.

### Self-Compassion: The Core of Deep Care

Self-compassion is about being kind to yourself in moments of distress or perceived inadequacy. It's about acknowledging your struggles without judgment, allowing you to comfort and soothe yourself. Incorporating self-compassion into your life can be as simple as taking a moment to acknowledge that you're having a hard time and offer yourself some kind words of support.

### Setting Boundaries: A Form of Self-Protection

Boundaries are essential to maintaining balance and energy in our lives. They protect us from being overwhelmed by the demands of others. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but setting boundaries is a powerful form of deep self-care. Remember, it's okay to say no when you're feeling overextended.

### Seek Professional Help: Therapy as Self-Care

Therapy is a profound form of self-care. It's a space to explore your thoughts and feelings, understand yourself better, and learn new coping strategies. Online therapy options make it even more accessible for those with tight schedules or transportation issues.

### Emotional Literacy: Understand Your Feelings

Being able to identify and express your emotions is an essential aspect of deep self-care. Emotional literacy allows you to understand what you're feeling, why you're feeling it, and how you can best respond to those emotions.

### Cultivate Supportive Relationships

Nurturing connections with others who support and understand you is an essential aspect of deep care. You can find these connections through support groups, online communities, friends, or family.

### Prioritize Rest

Rest is more than just getting enough sleep. It's about allowing yourself to take breaks, slow down, and do less. Rest is a critical component of self-care and overall well-being.

Remember, you are worthy and deserving of deep care. Sometimes, the self-care script may not apply, but that doesn't mean you're stuck. There are always other options, other avenues for self-support, and I'm here to help guide you through them.

✨You are worthy, deserving of love, and capable of growth. 🌱💗 Save and share this post with a fellow mom who might need this reminder. Follow [@IntegrationsCounseling](https://www.instagram.com/integrationscounseling) for more insights and support. 💗

If you're seeking guidance through the challenges of motherhood and self-care, [connect with me](https://www.integrationscounseling.com/contact) today.


It's crucial to understand that self-care is more than a quick fix, and there are deeper forms of care you can explore.

When Self-Care Doesn't Feel Enough: Embracing Deeper Forms of Care


When you step into motherhood, the world as you know it transforms in an instant. You find yourself navigating a new, challenging landscape, marked by constant changes and unexpected twists and turns. It's a journey of discovery, growth, and unending adaptation.

The early years of motherhood, in particular, bring a rapid succession of changes. You see your child grow from a newborn who depends entirely on you to a toddler exploring their independence. As your child develops, your role as a mother continually shifts and evolves.

### Physical and Emotional Changes

Firstly, there are the physical changes. Pregnancy and childbirth bring significant transformations to your body, but the changes don't stop there. Nursing, lack of sleep, and the physical demands of caring for a child can all have an impact on your body.

Emotionally, you may experience a wide range of feelings. The joy and love that comes with motherhood can often be accompanied by feelings of uncertainty, anxiety, and even sadness. Postpartum depression and anxiety are not uncommon and it's essential to seek help if you're experiencing these symptoms.

### Changes in Relationships

Your relationships, too, undergo substantial shifts. The bond with your partner may face new challenges as you both adapt to your roles as parents. Friendships may evolve, and you may find a new community with other moms.

### Changes in Identity

Perhaps one of the most profound changes is the shift in your identity. You're no longer just yourself; you're also a mother. This change can bring about a sense of loss for your previous self and an uncertainty about who you are now. It's okay to mourn your pre-motherhood self. It's a part of your journey.

### Learning to Embrace the Changes

Embracing these constant changes requires self-compassion, patience, and flexibility. Here are some ways to navigate this ever-changing landscape:

- **Self-care:** Take care of your physical and emotional health. This could mean taking a few minutes for deep breathing, engaging in regular exercise, or seeking therapy.
- **Seek support:** You don't have to do this alone. Reach out to friends, family, or a professional counselor. Share your feelings and experiences.
- **Self-acceptance:** It's okay not to have all the answers. It's okay to feel overwhelmed. You're doing the best you can, and that's enough.

In the whirlwind of these early years, it's essential to remember that you're not alone. Mothers everywhere are navigating this same wild ride. Reach out, share your story, and embrace the constant change. It's part of the beautiful chaos that is motherhood.

Remember: ✨You are worthy, deserving of love, and capable of growth. 🌱💗 Save and share this post with a fellow mom who might need this reminder. Follow [@IntegrationsCounseling](https://www.instagram.com/integrationscounseling) for more insights and support. 💗

If you're seeking guidance through the challenges of motherhood, [connect with me](https://www.integrationscounseling.com/contact) today.


You find yourself navigating a new, challenging landscape, marked by constant changes and unexpected twists and turns. It's a journey of discovery, growth, and unending adaptation.

Embracing the Constant Changes in the Early Years of Motherhood


When you hold your little one for the first time, the world seems to stop. You are filled with love, awe, and maybe a bit of trepidation. Parenting is an amazing journey, but it's also a challenging one that can strain even the strongest relationships. One of the emotions that can sneak in, often unannounced, is resentment.

### Understanding Resentment

Resentment is a feeling of deep and bitter anger or annoyance caused by what is perceived as unfair treatment. In the context of parenting, this could stem from unequal division of responsibilities, lack of appreciation, or not having enough time for each other anymore. It's a slow-building emotion, often unnoticed until it has become a significant problem.

### Identifying the Roots

The first step in managing resentment is to recognize its roots. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your feelings. It's important to communicate without blaming or criticizing. Use "I" statements, such as "I feel overwhelmed when I have to handle all the night feedings," rather than "You never help with the night feedings."

### Realigning Responsibilities

Once you've identified the sources of resentment, discuss how you can realign responsibilities. Try to distribute chores, parenting duties, and decision-making tasks fairly. Remember, fair doesn't always mean equal. It's about finding a balance that works for both of you.

### Fostering Appreciation

It's easy to feel unappreciated when you're knee-deep in diapers or handling a tantrum. Make an effort to show gratitude to your partner for their efforts, no matter how small. A simple "thank you" can go a long way in mitigating feelings of resentment.

### Rekindling Connection

In the chaos of parenting, couples often forget to make time for each other. Carve out regular moments for just the two of you. A simple date night, a walk together, or even just a shared cup of coffee can help you reconnect and remind you of why you chose each other in the first place.

### Seeking Professional Help

If resentment has taken a firm hold and you're finding it difficult to navigate through it, seeking professional help is a good option. Therapists can provide tools and strategies to manage resentment, improve communication, and strengthen your relationship.

Remember, it's perfectly normal to feel resentment in your marriage after having kids. Parenting is a tremendous life shift, and adjusting to it can be challenging. But with open communication, mutual understanding, and a little help, you can navigate through these choppy waters and come out stronger as a couple and as a family.

✨You are worthy, deserving of love, and capable of growth. 🌱💗

If you're navigating through feelings of resentment and need guidance, [connect with me](https://www.integrationscounseling.com/contact) today. I'm here to support you. Follow [@IntegrationsCounseling](https://www.instagram.com/integrationscounseling) for more insights. 💗


Parenting is an amazing journey, but it's also a challenging one that can strain even the strongest relationships. One of the emotions that can sneak in, often unannounced, is resentment.

Navigating Resentment in Marriage After Kids: A Guide for Parents


As the holiday season approaches, the air fills with the scent of cinnamon, the sound of festive music, and the glimmer of holiday lights. But for many moms, this season also brings an invisible yet heavy burden: the mental load of holiday preparations. This blog post is dedicated to all the mothers navigating this busy time of the year. Discover more about [motherhood](/categories/motherhood) and its challenges during the holiday season.

1. **Understanding the Mental Load:**
The mental load refers to the constant planning, organizing, and managing of family life, which intensifies during the holidays. From planning meals to buying gifts, arranging family gatherings, and decorating the house, moms often find themselves juggling numerous tasks at once. This invisible work, though often unnoticed, can be mentally exhausting and overwhelming.
2. **Acknowledging Your Efforts:**
First and foremost, it's important to acknowledge the hard work you put into making the holidays special for your family. Your efforts, though sometimes unseen, create the magic that your family cherishes. Remember, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed, and it's crucial to acknowledge the weight of what you carry.
3. **Seeking Support:**
One of the best ways to manage the mental load is by asking for help. Delegate tasks to family members, involve your partner, or even seek external help if possible. Remember, it’s not solely your responsibility to ensure a perfect holiday season.
4. **Setting Realistic Expectations:**
It's easy to fall into the trap of wanting to create a 'perfect' holiday experience. However, setting realistic expectations can significantly reduce stress. Understand that it's okay if everything is not picture-perfect. The joy of the season lies in togetherness, not perfection. Learn more about this balance in our article on [the duality of joy and grief during the holidays](/the-duality-of-joy-and-grief-during-the-holidays).
5. **Carving Out Time for Yourself:**
In the hustle and bustle of the season, take time for self-care. Whether it's a quiet cup of coffee, a walk in the park, or simply sitting down to read a book, these moments of solitude can help rejuvenate your mind and soul.
6. **Embracing the Joy:**
Despite the challenges, try to find moments of joy in the little things - the laughter of your children, the warmth of family, or the beauty of winter. Let these moments remind you of the true essence of the holiday season.

In conclusion, the holiday season for moms can be as demanding as it is delightful. It's a balancing act between making it special for the family and taking care of your own mental health. Remember, it's okay to let go of the quest for perfection and instead, embrace the imperfect yet beautiful moments that the holidays bring.

Remember: ✨You are worthy, deserving of love, and capable of growth. 🌱💗


Delve into the often overlooked mental load mothers bear during the holidays in our latest blog post. From juggling festive preparations to managing family life, we explore the challenges and offer tips for seeking support, setting realistic expectations, and finding joy amidst the hustle. It's a tribute to every mother striving to balance the demands and delights of the season, reminding them of their worth and the importance of self-care.

Navigating the Mental Load of the Holiday Season


As we navigate the beautiful journey of motherhood, it’s crucial to acknowledge that this life-altering transition can sometimes be accompanied by challenges like postpartum anxiety. Today, we'll delve deeper into understanding this common, yet often overlooked, aspect of postpartum mental health.

### Recognizing Postpartum Anxiety

Postpartum anxiety is a condition that can affect new mothers after childbirth, characterized by persistent worry, restlessness, and an overwhelming sense of dread. These feelings can become so intrusive that they interfere with your daily activities and overall well-being. Unlike the commonly known 'baby blues,' postpartum anxiety symptoms last longer and are more intense.

Some signs of postpartum anxiety include constant worry, racing thoughts, feelings of impending doom, irritability, trouble sleeping, and physical symptoms like a racing heart, hot flashes, and nausea.

### Factors Contributing to Postpartum Anxiety

Several factors contribute to the onset of postpartum anxiety. Hormonal changes after childbirth, combined with the physical exhaustion of caring for a newborn, can trigger anxiety symptoms. Moreover, the immense responsibility of nurturing a new life can make new mothers prone to worry and fear.

It's important to understand that experiencing postpartum anxiety is not a sign of weakness or poor mothering. It's a common mental health condition that many women face and there's help available.

### Seeking Help for Postpartum Anxiety

If you suspect you're dealing with postpartum anxiety, reach out to a healthcare provider or mental health professional. They can provide an accurate diagnosis and a comprehensive treatment plan. This plan may include therapy, medication, or a combination of both. Remember, seeking help is a testament to your strength and the love you have for your child.

### Coping Strategies for Postpartum Anxiety

While professional support is crucial in managing postpartum anxiety, there are also strategies you can implement yourself:

- **Self-Care:** Prioritize activities that replenish your energy, whether that's a relaxing bath, reading, or a short walk outside.
- **Mindfulness Practices:** Techniques such as deep breathing and meditation can help manage anxiety symptoms.
- **Support Networks:** Lean on your family, friends, and mom groups who understand what you’re going through.

### Remember, You’re Not Alone

Postpartum anxiety can be isolating, but know that you’re not alone. Many women have walked this path and found strength, healing, and resilience. Remember, ✨You are worthy, deserving of love, and capable of growth. 🌱💗

Save and share this post with a fellow mom who might need this reminder. Follow [@IntegrationsCounseling](https://www.instagram.com/integrationscounseling) for more insights and support. 💗

If you're experiencing postpartum anxiety and need support, don't hesitate to [connect with me](https://www.integrationscounseling.com/contact) today.


Understanding this common, yet often overlooked, aspect of postpartum mental health.

Understanding and Navigating Postpartum Anxiety: A Guide for New Mothers


The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy and celebration, filled with family gatherings, laughter, and traditions. However, for those experiencing grief, the holidays can amplify feelings of loss and sadness. If you're grieving this holiday season, this blog post is for you, offering guidance and support during this challenging time.

1. **Recognizing the Complexity of Grief:**
Grief during the holidays can feel particularly intense because these times often emphasize togetherness and happiness. The absence of a loved one can be deeply felt, and it’s normal for grief to resurface even if the loss occurred long ago. It's important to recognize that grief is a complex process and manifests differently for everyone.
2. **Allow Yourself to Feel:**
Give yourself permission to experience your emotions without judgment. It's okay to feel sad, angry, or even to have moments of joy. Your feelings are valid and acknowledging them is a crucial step in navigating grief.
3. **Creating New Traditions:**
While it’s difficult to imagine the holidays without your loved one, creating new traditions can provide a sense of renewal and comfort. These don’t have to be large gestures; they can be simple acts like lighting a candle in memory or sharing stories about them.
4. **Seek Support:**
Reach out to friends, family, or a support group where you can express your feelings and share your experiences. Sometimes, just talking about your loved one can bring a sense of relief. Professional help, such as therapy, can also provide a safe space to process your grief.
5. **Setting Boundaries:**
It’s okay to say no to events or gatherings that feel too overwhelming. People may have expectations of you during this time, but it’s essential to prioritize your well-being. It’s okay to take a step back and spend time alone if that’s what you need.
6. **Finding Moments of Peace:**
Try to find small moments of peace amidst the pain. This could be through meditation, a walk in nature, or engaging in a hobby that brings you solace. These moments can offer a temporary respite from your grief.
7. **Honoring Your Loved One:**
Find ways to honor the memory of your loved one. This might involve donating to a charity in their name, sharing favorite memories, or including their favorite dish in your holiday meal.

In conclusion, experiencing grief during the holiday season is a unique challenge, but it’s important to remember that you’re not alone in your feelings. It’s okay to experience the holidays in a way that feels right for you. Allow yourself grace during this time and know that it’s okay to find your own path through the season.

Remember: ✨You are worthy, deserving of love, and capable of growth. 🌱💗


Explore guidance and support for navigating grief during the holidays. This empathetic blog post delves into the challenges of experiencing loss amidst a season often marked by joy, offering insights and understanding for those in mourning.

The Mental Overload and Invisible Work of Early Motherhood

The Mental Overload of Motherhood

The Invisible Work of Motherhood

Navigating the Overload and Invisible Work

Affirmation and Validation

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Embracing the Constant Changes in the Early Years of Motherhood

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Navigating the Mental Load of the Holiday Season